There once was a space-chick named Laury. One day Laury was skipping about and doing whatever all-powerful space-chicks do in their spare time, when all of a sudden… THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED!
No, seriously, Laury found herself surrounded by a group of rogue pyromancers. They had forsaken their dragon-worshiping religion in favor of blowing shit up with their magic. What a bunch of heretics.
Laury then sprouted bird wings from her head and back, and took off in flight! “Holy shit that girl has four wings!” said one pyromancer.
“She’s a butterfly!” said another.
Inspired by the similarities, the pyromancers all rushed off to go blow up butterflies. Laury was disappointed at the lack of the resulting battle. She wanted to defeat them and feel powerful and tun them into her alien minions.
Feeling dejected, Laury stopped flying and landed… RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERT’S PIRATE SHIP!!! The dread pirate Roberts drew his sword. Laury was unimpressed. “Put that down and surrender!” she said.
The dread pirate Roberts, being a ladies’ man, complied. “As you wish,” he said with a sweeping bow.
“GAAAAAAAH, What’s it take for a girl to have somebody to defeat around here!?” Laury asked?
So Laury flew away to Hogwarts and saw that EVERYTHING WAS TURNED GOTH! I mean… GOFFICK!
“Oh nooooooo!” said Laury.
“OMFG IT’S A PREP,” said some punk looking mary-sue. And by her side was… DRACO MALFOY!!! “Ahm sew derressed amd hatte mai laife,” he said, mispelling every word that he spoke.
“Avada Kedavera,” said Laury, killing them both. “That was so easy a mortal could do it!”
And Laury flew away again. Up in the clouds she flew face-first into the Halberd! “Ouch,” Laury said.
Meta Knight looked at her through the windshield. “You’re in the way, I don’t want to run you over,” he said. But Laury couldn’t hear him from the other side of the glass. In fact, she couldn’t tell that he spoke at all since his mask covered his face. Feeling a little creeped out that Meta Knight was (seemingly) just staring at her, Laury flew away again.
And then, the Imperial March started to play! The death star came down from the sky and fired it’s lazers at Laury! Laury did a barrel roll and dodged it.
All of the doors to the death star opened and Darth Vader walked out of it.
“IT’S YOUUUUU!” Laury said, pointing at him.
“It’s meeeeeeee,” Darth Vader said back.
“How are you not falling to your death? You can’t fly!” Laury asked and then exclaimed because the second sentence was a statement, not a question.
“Because this is the worst fanfiction ever,” Darth Vader said. “I would know, I wrote it!” Darth Vader took off his mask, and was… NOMAD REALTA!
“I don’t understand,” said Laury. “Darth Vader’s a man and you’re not!”
“I can dream!” Nomad said back.”If I was a man, I would be the viking prince of metal!”
“Not Darth Vader?” Laury asked.
“Don’t be rediculous, what gave you that idea?” Nomad asked.
“I have no clue. LET US BATTLE FOR THE FATE OF THE EARTH!” Laury said.
And they did.